Fake it Till You Make it - Part 1
“Erase the word ‘failure’ from your vocabulary. No case is ever truly closed, and no challenge is ever over”
I have to let you into a little secret here. I have never been a 100% sure about the phrase ‘fake it until you make it’, because it suggests that you don’t already have the ability in the first place or that the end goal is something tangible that you can hang your hat on and say, “I achieved that lofty goal and now I can sit down and rest”. Life isn’t like that, because no one ever really hits their goal and then thinks ‘that’s it, it’s all done,’ do they? I prefer - ‘just sodding go for it until you are confident you are doing it to the best of your ability and then you can enjoy the ride.’
Imagine, you have just got your dream job working at a professional rugby club (or anywhere that applies to you) and you walk into the office and have no idea what you are doing. You don’t know the players, you don’t know their positions and you certainly don’t know how to write a match report. But, here is the crux of it, does anyone else know you don’t know? No, they do not!
This was me. I knew I could write. I knew I loved rugby and I knew I really wanted this job but I honestly had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I had cobbled together a match report to show the CEO prior to starting, had read columns of broadsheet match reports and I had even printed off all of the rugby positions on the pitch and scribbled all the player’s names next to the position they played, but to say that I felt like a fish out of water would be the understatement of the year.
However, the thing that I clung onto, as I went around the office introducing myself was that I knew how to write! How you write never really changes in my opinion, the audience changes, and so you adapt accordingly, but ultimately you are always trying to capture someone’s interest and attention.
I had the fortunate position of having a week’s handover with my predecessor and so I followed her around the office and down to the coaches office, cunningly named The War Room, and was introduced to everyone. What I know now is that I came across to everyone as aloof and snooty. I quickly was given the nickname “snooty fox” (ok, I will take fox, but I’m not sure about snooty) because I held my head up in the air, I didn’t give anything away and I came across with assuredness and capability. I know this because I ended up marrying the Head Performance Analyst and he told me that I seemed very sure of myself! How I really felt was that I had sweaty palms, nausea, shaky-hands, but somehow I held it together. I was so nervous I don’t even remember meeting him at that moment. He has never let me live that down.
So herein lies the first lesson here. The poker face. Shoulders back, head up and breathe. Never let your head drop down, because everyone can see that a mile coming and no, you won’t be exposed for the fraud you are, because you aren’t a fraud. If you believe in you, everyone else will too…even if it takes a little time.
A few week’s in, I was just about starting to get into the groove of the job. The season hadn’t started, which meant it was a lot of admin and preparation so I wasn’t into the full throes of a rugby season just yet. I had made time to message all the players to let them know who I was. I had met them all, popped back into The War Room a few times just to check in.
One of the first match-related press releases I sent out grabbed the attention of a kindly journalist who picked up the phone to tell me that I had failed to include things that they liked, like quotes! I remember my heart pounding as he told me, but I took a deep breath, re-sent the press release with some useful quotes from the coaches and vowed never to do that again. I also soon had the baptism of all fires when I was sat on a train on my way back from a website training session a few days later when my phone rang. It was a journalist and he said “Player X has been accused of being in a fight, have you got any comment?” WTaF I thought to myself! Here was another sweaty palm and palpitating heart moment! What would I say? What could I say?
Now, this is where sheer belief in myself kicked in because I took a moment, actually inhaled some dirty, train air, and told him ‘that was interesting’ and that I would ring him back. I then proceeded to ring the player and ask him what happened. I needed to buy myself time. Luckily, that journalist was the only one with the story, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before a few more got wind of it, so I needed to calmly get prepared.
The key to this was that I couldn’t lose my cool. I was an absolute wreck, but I couldn’t let the journalist know that. Imagine if I had just taken him at his word, or worse, said something that then would get printed in the papers as a quote from the club spokesperson that could land that player in real trouble. As it turned out, the allegations were thrown out, but not before a whole lot of hard work and dealing with the press to contend with.
The Pro Tip:
You have to believe in yourself, no matter what. There may come a time when you think, gosh, is this really for me, can I stick it out, but you should always be your own biggest cheer leader. You will get there and the good fight is always worth fighting.
If, while you are still learning the ropes, you don’t know something, find out. Never blag it. Do your research, take your time, be prepared.
How to Apply to Life:
Sometimes life gets tough and you can question your life choices, your friend choices and romantic choices.
The top tips here are to try and keep your cool.
Give yourself the time you need to reflect on what has happened. Process what has happened. But use them to give yourself the determination to keep on going and heading towards what you believe in. Don’t let people who question your dreams or your chosen path, knock you off course.
It’s your life, so live it how you want to!